Years Later
by Topsy
Summary: Doug comes back to Cook County General, 4 years after leaving.
1. Years Later

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Doug was sitting on an airplane from Seattle to Chicago. It had been almost four   
years since he had left Chicago and Carol. Carol. He wished he could go back to his old life. Even though he had had a few girlfriends since he moved to Seattle, no one made him feel like Carol did. He knew in his heart that he would never love a woman as much as he loved Carol, no matter how hard he tried. It had been awhile since he had last talked to her. They had kept in touch for a few months after he left, but the calls became sparser on Carol's part, so he backed off a little, not calling her very often. It had been about two years since he had last talked to her. He sighed, hating that his job had sent him back to   
Chicago..specifically, Cook County General. He had to go and check out the hospital and tell them what they needed, based on the state's law. He hated this job, he wanted to see patients, but it was good money and he didn't have much of a choice. (i'm going to call it the DHC because I don't know what else to call it. this story mainly focuses on doug and carol, not doug's job) Doug wondered who all still worked at County and who had left. He realized Carol had probably left the hospital and was married with a kid or two. He sighed, not wanting to think about it and closed his eyes, hoping for some sleep.  
  
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"Madison, come on, let's get you dressed." Carol says, walking into her three year old daughter's bedroom.  
"Mommy, I can do it." Madison says.  
"Alright then, let's see it." Carol says, watching her daughter. Madison had lighter hair then Carol but it was just as thick and curly. She had slightly darker skin then Carol but other then that was a spitting image of Carol. Madison pulled off her shirt with a little bit of difficulty, then tried to pull her fresh t-shirt over her head. She was putting it on inside out, so Carol helped her out of it then turned it around and helped her daughter into it.  
"I can do it!" Madison says stubbornly. Carol backs away, lifting her hands and smiling.  
"Okay, okay." She says. Madison then pulls her pajama pants off and puts her jeans  
on with difficulty. She tries with the buttons before looking up at her mother.  
"Mommy?" She says. Carol smiles.  
"Want me to get it?" She asks. Madison nods.  
"I can't do it." Madison replies. Carol smiles and moves closer to her daughter, buttoning up her jeans for her.  
"There you go, kiddo." Carol says.  
"Mommy, who helps you get dressed?" Madison asks. Carol smiles and holds back a chuckle.  
"Nobody. I do it all by myself." Carol says. Madison nods in awe.  
"I'm ready." She says. Carol nods and reaches down picking her up.  
"Alrighty then, let's go baby cakes." Carol says, turning her upside down and tickling her. Madison squeals as Carol laughs, taking her outside.  
  
===========  
  
Carol runs into work, carrying Madison. She spots Carter and she smiles sweetly at   
him.  
"Oh, Carter!" Carol says. He turns to her.  
"Hey Carol. Hey Maddie." He says.  
"Uncle Carter!" Maddie calls out. He smiles.  
"Will you watch her really quick, please? I need to go check on something and then I have to take her up to daycare." Carol says.  
"Sure, Carol." He says.  
"Thank you so much Carter!" Carol says and hands Madison to him. She throws her stuff under the desk and runs off down the hall. He watches her and chuckles.  
"So Maddie, it's just me and you. What do you want to do?" Carter asks.  
"Shoulder ride! Shoulder ride!" Madison calls out. He chuckles.  
"Alright then. Here ya go!" He says, lifting her up and sitting her on his shoulders. She giggles happily and he jogs around the hospital as she giggles gleefully. He is heading back towards the desk when he stops. Standing at the entrance of the hospital is Doug Ross.  
"Uncle Carter! Why'd ya stop?" Maddie asks, leaning over his head and touching his face. Doug turns at the sound of Carter's name. When he sees Carter, he smiles. Carter smiles back weakly.  
"Hey Dr. Ross." Carter says. Doug walks towards Carter and the girl.  
"Hey Carter. Who's this?" Doug asks, smiling at the little girl. She smiles back.  
"I'm Madison." Madison replies. He chuckles.  
"Hello Madison. I'm Doug." Doug replies.  
"Hello." She says. He chuckles and looks back at Carter.  
"Uncle Carter, huh?" He asks. Carter stutters slightly.  
"Daughter of..a..uh..a co-worker." He replies. Doug nods. Mark comes running around the corner, not really looking at who Carter is talking to. Doug chuckles.  
"Carter, we need you! MVA!" Mark says. Carter looks around, trying to figure out what to do with Madison.  
"I'll take her to the lounge and watch her." Doug says. Carter bites his lip nervously, hesitating.  
"Okay. Go ahead." He says, handing Madison to Doug and then running off.  
Carol runs into the trauma room with Mark and Carter.  
"Where's Madison?" She asks Carter.  
"She's in the lounge. I need to talk to you as soon as we get out of here." Carter says. She gives him a puzzled look but nods.  
"Okay." She says.  
Back in the lounge, Doug is talking to Madison.   
"So, Madison, does your mommy work here?" He asks. She nods proudly.  
"Yes. She saves lives with Uncle Mark and Uncle Carter." Madison says. He nods, looking around at the lockers, noticing Weaver is still there. His old locker has the name Dr. Finch on it. He wonders who that is. He also notices Jeanie is gone.  
"So Madison, who else do you know?" Doug asks.  
"Kerry. I don't know her very well though, Mommy isn't really friends with her. Then there's Luka. He's sort of Mommy's friend, I think. And then there's Aunt Lizabeth." She says. Doug nods.  
"Do you know your mommy's name?" Doug asks.   
"Mommy but some people call her Carol." Madison replies, like a normal three year old. He chuckles slightly.  
"How old are you?" Doug asks.  
"I'm three. My birthday is on November 25th and then I'll be four." Madison replies proudly. He nods, calculating that in his head. If that was right, then Carol had gotten pregnant with Madison around the time he left. He sighs, rubbing his hand across his face, not wishing to think about Carol having cheated on him, or getting over him so quickly.  
"So..where's your Daddy?" Doug asks.  
"I don't have a daddy. Mommy says it's just me and her and that we don't need a Daddy. But I still want one." Madison says. She looks truly sad. Doug ruffles her hair.  
"Hey, don't be sad. I'm sure you have fun with your mommy." Doug says. She nods.  
"Yeah, but everyone else has a daddy but me. Why don't I have a daddy?" Madison asks.  
"I don't know." Doug says, shaking his head.  
Back in the trauma room, Carol is snapping off her gloves.  
"Carter, you needed to talk to me?" She says. He nods, and pulls her aside.  
"Carol..I was giving Madison a shoulder ride when Mark called me to come help with the MVA. Then I had to have someone else take her and they went to the lounge." Carter says. Carol smiles.  
"Thanks Carter." She says and starts to walk away. Carter grabs her upper arm.  
"Carol, wait." He says. She turns and faces him. "That someone was Doug." Carter says softly. Carol's face pales and she starts to panic.  
"He's here?" She squeaks. Carter nods.  
"Yes." Carter replies.  
"And you let him take her into the lounge?" Carol says.  
"Yeah. There was no one else around and he volunteered and I needed to come help. So I let him take her. I'm sorry Carol." Carter says. She shakes her head, trying to clear it.  
"No, Carter. It's okay. Really. Thanks for watching her." She says and turns, walking away. Carter watches her go and follows her. She slowly walks up to the door to the lounge but pauses outside. Carter watches along with Mark.  
"What's she doing?" Mark asks. Carol pushes her way into the lounge.  
"Doug's back and he's in the lounge with Madison." Carter says.  
"WHAT?" Mark says loudly. Carter nods. "Oh, shit." Mark says.  
Carol walks into the lounge and spots Doug watching TV with Madison. He looks up at her when she enters the lounge. Madison looks too.  
"Hi Mommy." She says. Carol smiles weakly.  
"Hey Madison." Carol says. "Doug." She acknowledges. Doug stands up.  
"Hey Carol." He says quietly, standing back. Madison walks to her mother.  
"Are we going up to daycare?" Madison asks.  
"In a minute baby." She says, crouching down to Madison's eye level. "Why don't you go out with Uncle Carter and Uncle Mark, they're just outside." Carol says. Madison nods.  
"Then we'll go to daycare?" She asks.  
"Yup, then we'll go to daycare." Carol says. Madison nods and the two of them walk to the door. Carol motions towards Mark and Carter and watches as Madison runs over to them. Mark gives her a concerned look but she just smiles back at him. She goes back into the lounge and shuts the door. She turns and looks at Doug, who smiles nervously at her. Just then Kerry and Luka walk through the door.  
"Yeah, I'm waiting for the guy that is supposed to come check the hospital. He's late." Kerry says, disapprovingly. She doesn't really look at who is in the lounge. Luka looks at Carol and then back at Doug.  
"No, he's not." Doug says, talking to Kerry. Her head whips up at the sound of his voice.  
"Doug?" She says.  
"I'm your guy that's supposed to check out the hospital." Doug says. Kerry's and Carol's mouth both drop open as Luka stands there, confused. He knows he has seen this man before, but he can't place him.  
"You're the DHC?" Kerry asks. Doug nods and smiles slightly.  
"Yeah." Doug says as the three of them stand uncomfortably and Luka watches, confused.  
"I don't think we've met. I'm Dr. Luka Kovac." Luka says, walking foreward and offering his hand to Doug. Doug smiles and shakes his hand.  
"Doug Ross, I used to be a pediatrician here." Doug says. Luka nods, stepping back as he remembers where he knows this man from. Carol had a picture of him in her house. Luka immediately feels protective over Carol, but doesn't say anything.   
"Well..I'm going to get back to work." Luka says, leaving. Mark looks up and sighs gruffly. He pushes his way into the lounge.  
"Hey Doug." Mark says. Doug smiles.  
"Mark." Doug says.  
"Are you the DHC?" Mark asks. Doug chuckles.  
"Yep, that's me." Doug says. Mark nods and looks at Carol who is staring at the ground.  
"Where's Madison?" Carol asks, looking up.  
"She's with Carter at the desk." Mark says.  
"I'm going to get her up to daycare." Carol says and smiles before she leaves.   
"So...I guess I should get started then?" Doug says.  
  
===========  
  
"Mark, what am I supposed to do?" Carol asks Mark as the two sit in the lounge, drinking coffee.  
"He doesn't know Madison is his?" Mark asks. Carol shakes his head.  
"No, but he has to have figured out that I was pregnant around the time he left." Carol says. Mark shakes his head.  
"It would probably be best if you told him about Maddie." Mark says.  
"And then what Mark? What will happen then? You know, he might want to stay and then what the hell am I supposed to do? Or what if he wants to go back to Seattle and just forget all about Maddie?" Carol says.  
"Well if Doug is anything like he was when he left, you know he probably won't go back to Seattle and just forget about her." Mark says.  
"That's what I am afraid of. If he stays I won't know what to do and if he leaves I don't think I could ever forgive him for that but I don't want him to stay either. I can't fall in love with him again and have him hurt us. He did it to me twice Mark and you and I both know if he sticks around, I won't be able to resist him for very long. He's always had that power over me." Carol says. Mark sighs and rubs his hands over his face.  
"Yeah, but now he's met Madison and I don't think you can just not tell him that she's his. You know he'll be curious about her birthday and he'll know something is up and he'll ask. You can't lie to him then." Mark says. Carol nods.  
"I know. Why did he ever have to come back?" Carol asks. Mark is silent. "When I saw him at first, I just wanted to run and jump into his arms and tell him how much I missed him. And that's how I know if he sticks around, that I'll eventually fall back into his arms. I don't want that, Mark." Carol says. Mark sighs.  
"I don't know what to tell you, Carol. You'll have to think about it some more and decide what you think will be in the best interest for you and your daughter. And Doug." Mark says, standing. Carol nods as he leaves the room.  
  
===========  
  
The next day, Carol walks into the lounge. To her surprise, Doug is sitting in the lounge, surrounded by paper. He looks up when she walks in.  
"Hey." She says softly. He nods at her.  
"Carol." He says. She gets herself a cup of coffee.  
"I see you're already started." Carol says. He nods.  
"Yeah. Mark and Kerry wanted me to start as soon as possible. I think they just want me out of here." Doug says, smiling and looking down at a paper he had in his hands. Carol nods, sipping her coffee. Doug clears his throat and glances up at her. "Madison looks just like you." He says, smiling softly, all of his old hopes and dreams coming back to him. When he was still in Chicago, he always thought that he and Carol would have a daughter just like Madison and more children but now those dreams were slowly dying as he realized she had a daughter from someone else. Carol smiles softly and nods, thinking of her daughter.  
"Yeah, she does." Carol says. He nods, clearing his throat again.  
"She's very entertaining. She was telling me about you and her aunts and uncles who save lives." He says, chuckling lightly. Carol smiles.  
"Yeah. So um, how long has it been since you and Mark last talked?...Before you got here, I mean." Carol asks, wanting to switch the subject away from their daughter.  
"Oh, it's been over two years. I haven't talked to him in a long time." Doug says. Carol nods.  
"Did you know that he and Elizabeth have a son?" Carol asks. Doug's mouth drops open.  
"They do?" He asks, surprised.  
"Yeah, Benjamin David. He's 7 months old. Maddie just adores Ben. And Mark and Elizabeth are engaged." Carol says. Doug smiles.  
"I guess I have a lot to catch up on." Doug says, not really thinking of Mark and Elizabeth. Carol nods and puts her coffee cup in the sink.  
"Yeah. Well, I better get to work." Carol says. He nods.  
"I guess I'll talk to you later then." Doug says and she nods, exiting the lounge. Doug puts the papers down and stands up. He walks to the window and stares out, not really seeing anything. A few minutes later, Mark walks in. Doug doesn't move, not noticing Mark's entrance.  
"Doug?" Mark asks, startling Doug from his thoughts. Doug turns.  
"Oh, hey Mark." Doug says, walking towards the table. He sits back down, watching as Mark gets himself a cup of coffee. "So..I heard you have a son and a fiancé." Doug says. Mark smiles.  
"Yeah. I guess Carol filled you in?" Mark says.  
"Well..we talked a little about Madison and then she told me about you and Elizabeth and Ben." Doug says. Mark nods.  
"What did you talk about Madison for?" Mark asks, trying to see if Carol told him that he was the father.  
"Aw, I just told her that Madison was entertaining and was proud of her mom and her aunts and uncles who save lives. Then she switched the subject to you guys." Doug says. Mark catches on, realizing Doug has questions about Madison. Mark doesn't say anything about it, knowing that it's Carol who should be answering those questions.  
"Yup." Mark says, not really knowing what to say. Doug looks at him.  
"Look Mark, I know that me coming back here messed everything all up. Kerry's worried I'll ruin the place, you're not sure what to say or do around me and Carol's already distancing herself, putting up those protective walls around herself. I'm here to do my job, and then I'll be gone, like you all want." Doug says. Mark sighs.  
"We don't want you to be gone, Doug." Mark says. Doug chuckles.  
"Speak for yourself. Kerry doesn't want a thing to do with me and Carol's ready to run." Doug says quietly, lowering his head.  
"Okay, I can't speak for Kerry. You two have never been friends or on good terms. And Carol, she's just afraid. She doesn't want to let you back in because you've already left her twice and she can't take that again. But she doesn't want you to leave." Mark says.  
"Why would she want me to stay?" Doug asks, looking at Mark. Mark is silent for a few seconds before speaking.  
"You two have a history, Doug." Mark says. Then he turns. "I better get back to work. And so should you." Mark says. Doug nods and Mark leaves the lounge. Doug sighs, putting his head into his hands.  
"I should never have taken this job." Doug mumbles to himself.  
  
===========  
  
Doug is heading out of the lounge, getting ready to go home, when Carol walks in with Madison as they bump into each other. Doug smiles apologetically.  
"Sorry, there, girls." He says, smiling down at Madison. She smiles back up at him.  
"Hi Doug." She says. He looks at her.  
"How are you today, Madison?" He asks.  
"I'm good. Guess what?" She says.  
"What?" He asks.  
"Mommy says we can go out to eat tonight." Madison says. He chuckles.  
"Well, eat something good for me." He says.   
"I will!" She says happily. He chuckles and ruffles her hair gently. He looks up at Carol.  
"I'll see you later, then." He says. She nods.  
"Bye Doug!" Madison calls out. He smiles at her.  
"Bye Madison. Bye Carol." He says and then walks out of the ER. Carol sighs and walks into the lounge as she gets their coats.  
  
===========  
  
Carol and Madison walk into McDonald's, Madison's choice of take out. As they walk in and look around, Carol sees Doug. She sighs and pretends not to have seen him, hoping Madison won't either. No such luck.  
"Doug!" Madison calls out. He turns and looks. When he sees them, he grins. Carol smiles weakly.  
"Maddie, come on, let's get our food." Carol says. Madison looks up at her.  
"Then can we sit with Doug?" She asks. Carol curses under her breath.  
"If you want to." She says.  
"Yeah!" Madison says happily. Carol smiles and they order their food. Madison walks over to Doug.  
"Mind if we join you?" Carol asks. He chuckles, swallowing part of his hamburger.  
"Not at all." He says. Madison smiles and climbs up into the booth, across from Doug. Carol sits beside her and gets her Kid's Meal ready for her to eat.  
"I guess I won't have to eat anything good for you, cuz you already is." Madison says. He laughs at her.  
"Yeah, I guess I am." He says, smiling. He reaches over, dipping a fry into her ketchup. She puts her hands on his hips.  
"You stealer!" She says. He chuckles.  
"I didn't steal. I borrowed." He says.  
"Nuh huh. You stealed. How are you s'posed to give it back?" She asks. He reaches over, grabbing a new pack of ketchup and pouring it into her pile. She nods, satisfied.  
"See. I told you." Doug says, smiling at Carol. She smiles back, forcing herself to swallow her chicken sandwich. They continue eating, Doug and Carol focused on Madison and her stories. Doug is constantly chuckling at the little girl, delighted with her stories. Carol watches them, sometimes even believing that this is real and that they are a family. But then she snaps out of it, trying not to think that. Knowing she won't survive a week like that. She sighs louder then she thought she had, and brushed her hair out of her face. Doug, taking the hint, smiles.  
"I better get going." He says, sliding to the edge of the booth. Carol blushes slightly, realizing he caught on. He smiles reassuringly at her, trying to tell her he won't interfere.  
"Bye Doug!" Madison says, oblivious.  
"I'll see you sometime, Madison." Doug says, standing up. She smiles at him and he chuckles.  
"I'll see you at work, Carol." Doug says and smiles at them.   
"Bye Doug." Carol says softly. He nods and throws his trash away, leaving.  
"I like him." Madison says, rather bluntly. Carol turns to her.  
"Yeah, he is pretty fun isn't he?" Carol asks. Madison nods.  
"Yeah. Mommy is he your friend?" Madison asks.  
"I guess he is. Yeah." Carol replies. Madison nods, satisfied with the answer.  
  
===========  
  
Carol needed some coffee. She hadn't slept well the past two nights, because of Doug. She was worried. She knew Madison was growing to like Doug a lot and she could tell Doug found Madison entertaining. She really didn't want to go into the lounge to face Doug, but she knew without coffee, she wouldn't last an hour. She sighed and pushed her way into the lounge. Doug glanced up from his paperwork and smiled slightly at Carol before turning back to his work. Carol got herself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter, sipping it as she watched Doug.   
"The day before yesterday, Madison told me her birthday is November 25th." Doug says, suddenly. Carol almost chokes on her coffee. Doug glances up at her. "If I calculated right, she must have been conceived right after I left." Doug says. Carol looks away, into her coffee. He nods, taking her silent answer to mean he was right. Carol sighs.  
"Actually...it was before you left." Carol says, quietly, thinking now's the best time to tell him. He looks up quickly, thinking this meant Carol cheated on him.  
"You...You were with someone else, when I was still here?" He asks, rather angrily, thinking of that paramedic she had kissed. Carol shakes her head in surprise, realizing what he means.  
"No." She says quickly. There is a long pause as Doug struggles to figure out what she means. "No, Doug. Madison is yours." Carol says quietly. His eyes widen in surprise and he just sits there, dumbfounded. He hadn't even thought of that at all.  
"She's mine?" He manages to get out. Carol nods, her mind numb.  
"Yes." She whispers. Doug is silent for a minute or so.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Doug asks, standing up. Carol shakes her head.  
"I don't know." She whispers. He starts to pace the floor.  
"It happened again. I abandoned another child." He mumbles under his breath. "I missed all of her firsts. Not again. What kind of father am I?"   
"You had no way of knowing." Carol says. Doug stops and looks at her.  
"You're right. I didn't." He says and then he exits the lounge, walking out of the ER. Mark who sees him leave quickly, walks into the lounge to investigate. Carol is sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, crying softly. Mark sits beside her.  
"Carol." He says, touching her back. She looks up, tears streaming down her face.  
"I'm a horrible mother." Carol says. He shakes his head.  
"No you're not. Carol, what happened?" He asks. She talks between hiccups.  
"He told me that Madison told him her birthday and if he calculated that right, then that means I got pregnant, right after he left. Then I told him that it was when he was still there, he thought that meant I cheated on him. I told him no, that he was her father. Then he was mumbling to himself about doing it again, abandoning another child and missing all her firsts and that he was a horrible father. Then I told him that he had no way of knowing and he told me I was right and then he left. I am such a horrible mother. Madison wants a daddy and I am the one that prevented her from having that. Doug would have wanted to know about her a long time ago. He would have wanted to be her daddy. But now he missed out on her most important years. And it's because I am selfish and didn't want him to come back." Carol says, crying harder.  
"But he left you, Carol." Mark says, trying to reassure her.  
"That does not do justice for what I did to him. We were trying for a baby for three months. He wanted a child as bad as I did and when I finally got pregnant, he didn't know about it for four years. That isn't fair." Carol says, burying her face into her hands. Mark knows she is right, but he doesn't say anything. He can't imagine what he would have done if Elizabeth hadn't told him about Ben. "I am so afraid to let him back into my life but in reality, I hurt him just as badly as he's hurt me. If not more. I cannot imagine not knowing Madison." Carol says, sobbing. Mark pulls her into his arms, letting her cry into his shirt.  
  
===========  
  
Doug came back from his long walk through Chicago. He had been walking for about two hours now. He walked into the hospital, but didn't go into the ER. He got on the elevator and went up to the floor that daycare was on. He walked to the window of daycare and looked in. Madison was sitting in a big group, listening to the teacher read. He stared at her, watching her silently. He stood there for awhile before he noticed one of the daycare worker's beside him.  
"Sir?" She asks. He looks at her.  
"Hmm." He says.  
"Can I help you with something?" She asks. He shakes his head and smiles sadly.  
"No, that's okay. I'm sorry if I bothered you." He says and heads towards the elevators. She watches him go, with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
===========  
  
Doug walks downstairs to the front desk. He sees Mark.  
"Mark?" He says. Mark turns around.  
"Hey Doug." Mark says softly. Carol sees Doug but he doesn't see her. She walks up to the desk, moving behind Mark. Doug ignores her.  
"I'm going to go back to my hotel after I clean up my stuff. I've decided I'm done for the day. I'll be back tomorrow." Doug says. Mark glances quickly at Carol while he nods.  
"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow, Doug." Mark says. Doug nods and walks into the lounge. Carol sighs and looks at Mark. He gives her a supportive smile and then he turns around. Carol bites her lip before deciding to go in and talk.  
"Doug." She says, pushing her way into the lounge.  
"Yes?" He replies, not looking up.  
"We need to talk." She says. He looks up at her.  
"Are you going to tell Madison?" He asks.  
"That depends." She says.  
"On what?" He asks.  
"On if you're planning on being here for her or if you're planning to go straight back to Seattle and pretend you never knew about her." Carol says. He smiles ironically.  
"Carol, I could never ever go back there and just pretend I never knew her. Every single damn day, I think about my son and what I've missed with him. I am not about ready to do that to my daughter. I don't know what I am going to do about work, but I am definitely going to be there for her." Doug says, slightly angry. Carol nods.  
"Then I'll tell her that you're her father." Carol says. He nods.  
"I wish you would've told me, Carol. When we were trying for a baby, I wasn't just trying to give you one. I wanted a child we could raise together. Obviously, you did not want the same thing." He says. He picks up his coat, slipping it onto his shoulders. "When can I come see her?" He asks. Carol sighs.  
"I get off work tomorrow at five. We could tell her then." Carol suggests. He nods.  
"Fine. I'll leave here at five also." He says. Then he turns and walks out of the lounge. Carol rubs her hands across her eyes, too tired to cry. She walks out of the lounge. Mark gives her a concerned look, but she brushes past him and walks to the elevator, stepping inside. He shakes his head sadly.  
  
===========  
  
The next day, Doug is heading into work when he hears his name from behind him. He turns and sees Madison and Carol. Madison is smiling at him. He smiles back at her.  
"Hey Madison. Carol." He acknowledges, turning his attention back to Madison. She reaches her arms up, wanting to be held. He smiles and bends down, picking her up and swinging her onto his hip.  
"Hi Doug." Madison says. He smiles.  
"How are you today Miss Madison?" He asks.  
"I'm grrrreat!" Madison says. Doug chuckles.  
"That's good." He says and they walk into the lounge. Doug looks at Carol.  
"I'll take her up to daycare, if that's okay with you?" Doug asks. Carol smiles slightly and nods.  
"Okay. Madison, is that okay with you?" Carol asks. Madison nods excitedly.  
"Can I have a shoulder ride?" Madison asks. He nods.  
"Sure. If that's what you want." He says.  
"Yeah!" Madison says excitedly. He chuckles and swings her up onto his shoulders. She giggles gleefully, clutching the side of his head to keep her balance. He chuckles and looks at Carol. "Go, Doug!" Madison urges. He smiles and looks up at her as best he can, without making her fall.  
"You ready?" He asks. She nods.  
"Yes!" She says. He smiles and swings open the door to the lounge and ducks slightly, to take her under the door. He walks past the admit desk and everyone watches him. He looks at all of them and smiles before he starts to sing and act goofy as he dances down the hall with Madison on his shoulders. She giggles happily and he chuckles along with her, down the hall. The whole ER staff was watching them and when they are out of sight, the staff all look at each other. Then they all look at Mark, hoping for an explanation. He smiles and walks away, going into the lounge. Carol is staring out the window.  
"Carol?" He asks. She looks at him and smiles slightly.  
"Hey Mark." She replies softly.  
"Are you alright?" Mark asks. Carol nods.  
"Yeah. I'm fine....You know, we're going to tell Madison tonight. I was afraid this was going to happen. She adores him and he loves her already. He's going to be around a lot, Mark." Carol says. Mark nods and stands beside her, looking out the window.  
"What else would you expect, Carol? He missed out on the first three years of her life and he is going to want to make up for that. He wanted a baby just as much as you did and he's not going to leave her now." Mark says. Carol nods.  
"It's happening again, Mark." Carol says.  
"What is?" Mark asks.  
"He's doing it again. He's making me fall in love with him all over again. Whenever I see him with Madison, I just want to become a family, tell him I love him, kiss him. And then when I look in his eyes, I see the pain that I inflicted on him. It's breaking my heart." Carol says.  
"I think you need to have a talk with Doug, straighten things out. Tell him why you didn't tell him about Madison, tell him what you want and don't want." Mark says. Carol nods.  
"Yeah. I know." She says, biting her lip. She sighs and turns around.  
"Well..I better get to work." Carol says. Mark nods and touches her arm.  
"Everything will work out." Mark says. She nods.  
"I hope you're right." She says and then walks out of the lounge. Mark sighs and rubs his hands over his chin. He stands by the window, still looking out of it, when Doug walks in.  
"Hey Mark." Doug says. Mark turns and smiles.  
"Hey Doug." Mark says. Doug smiles and sits down in his chair, after getting his stuff off the counter and placing it onto the table. "So, what are you going to do?" Mark asks, walking in front of Doug. Doug looks up.  
"About what?" Doug asks. Mark gives him a look.  
"Madison." Mark says. Doug sighs and looks down at his hands, then back up at Mark.  
"I'm coming back." Doug says. Mark nods, expecting something like that. "I'll probably just get an apartment. While I'm here on DHC, I'll look for a new job somewhere and then after I'm done here at Cook County, I'll go back to Seattle and take care of things. Then I'll move back here. And with Madison, I'll try and settle something with Carol about when I can see Maddie." Doug says. Mark nods, thinking.  
"And if you can't?" Mark asks. Doug shrugs.  
"I'm hoping we can. I don't want to have to go to court. I don't want to do that to Carol. Even though she kept me from Madison, I am not going to keep Carol away from her daughter." Doug says. Mark nods.  
"What are you going to do about Carol?" Mark asks. Doug shrugs.  
"I still love her, Mark. Although, I can see it in her eyes and her face that she doesn't want me around. I'm not going to do anything about Carol. She only wants me in Madison's life, not hers. And that's what I'm going to give her. She's scared of me. She thinks that if she lets me back into her life, that she'll fall back in love with me, and then I'll hurt her, yet again. I always do things to screw up my relationship with her, so this time, I'm going to stay away from her, like she wants." Doug says. Mark has a painful look on his face. Both of these people are his friends and he knows how much this is ripping both of them apart.   
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Doug." Mark says. Doug shakes his head.  
"I'm glad that I came back because I found Madison, but...I can see how much this is hurting Carol. And me." Doug says. Mark nods.  
"Things will work out in the end." Mark says. Doug shakes his head.  
"I wish I could believe you." Doug says. Mark smiles weakly.  
"That's what Carol said." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"See..we both know." Doug says.  
"Talk to her." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"Yeah. I will." He says. Mark nods.  
"I'm going to get to work now. Good luck tonight." Mark says. Doug smiles.  
"Thanks." He replies.  
  
===========  
  
Later that night, Madison is in the backseat of Doug's jeep and Carol is in the passenger side as Doug drives to Carol's house. Madison is in the back, singing 'Old McDonald Had a Farm'. Doug is smiling at her as he drives along. Carol is sitting quietly, thinking. She glances out of the corner of her eye and sees Doug smiling. Her heart hurts, thinking of how she kept him away from his daughter. She sighs quietly, as she stares out the window.   
  
===========  
  
"Madison, come here. Doug and I need to have a talk with you." Carol says. Madison walks over to the two of them sitting on the couch. Carol pulls Madison onto her lap.  
"Mommy?" Madison asks. Carol and Doug smile at the little girl.  
"You know how you've always wondered why you didn't have a daddy?" Carol asks. Madison looks at her and nods. "Well you do have one." Carol says.  
"I do?" Madison asks. Carol nods.  
"Yeah. You do. Doug is your father." Carol says. Madison looks at Doug.  
"You're my daddy?" Madison asks. Doug smiles nervously and nods.  
"Yeah. I am." Doug replies. Madison looks at Carol. Carol smiles nervously. Madison moves and sits on Doug's lap.  
"Why didn't I have you before?" Madison asks. Doug looks at Carol, not knowing what to say.  
"Doug didn't know about you." Carol replies for him. Madison nods, seemingly satisfied with this answer.  
"Am I s'posed to call you Daddy?" She asks. He smiles.  
"If you want to." Doug replies. Carol smiles slightly. Madison nods, thinking this over.  
"Are you going to live with us?" Madison asks. Doug's smile fades.  
"No, sweetie, I can't." Doug says. Madison's eyes fill with tears.  
"Why not? Daddy's are s'posed to live with their kids." Madison says, her chin quivering. He cups her face in one of his hands.  
"Not all daddy's live with their kids all the time. I promise you'll get to see me a lot." Doug says. A tear slips down her face and she wraps her arms around his neck.  
"I want you to live with me and Mommy." She says. He smiles and hugs her.  
"Yeah. I wish I lived with you too." He says and kisses her cheek. He looks over at Carol and smiles sadly at her. She smiles slightly back at him with tears in her eyes.  
  
===========  
  
"Come on Madison, it's time for bed." Carol says. Madison looks at Carol, then at Doug.  
"Can Daddy help put me to bed too?" Madison asks. Carol looks at Doug, who is smiling.  
"Yeah. Daddy can help too." Carol says. Madison nods and puts her arms up, wanting Doug to carry her. He lifts her up and they descend the stairs.   
  
===========  
  
Doug walks down the stairs after reading Madison a bed time story. Carol is standing in the kitchen, looking out the window.  
"Carol?" He asks, walking into the kitchen. She turns to him and smiles weakly, her eyes filled with tears. "What's wrong?" He asks, instinctively.  
"I'm sorry Doug." Carol whispers.  
"For what?" He asks, moving slightly closer to her.  
"For keeping you away from her. She adores you and all along she has wanted a father and I've known it. I'm sorry." Carol whispers, the tears starting to fall now. He smiles lightly.  
"I was angry and upset with you at first. But..being able to hold that little girl and hear her call me Daddy, erases all that. I'm moving back to Chicago. While I'm here for the DHC, I'll look for a new job and an apartment. Then I'll go back to Seattle for a few days to straighten things out and come back. We need to work out some sort of arrangement for now so I can see her and then we can make another arrangement after I get my new job." Doug says. Carol nods, happy and scared all at the same time.  
"Thank you, Doug." Carol says.  
"For what?" He asks.  
"For changing your life all around just for her." Carol says. Doug smiles.  
"I've been waiting a long, long time to be able to adjust my life to have a child. Thank you for giving her to me." Doug says. Carol steps closer to him, so they are only a few inches apart. He can feel her breath on his face as her chest rises and falls rapidly. His heart starts to pound as he realizes what she's doing.  
"Carol." He whispers. She doesn't reply, just shuffles even closer to him and presses her lips into his. He resists at first but he can't stop himself and he presses his body into hers. His arms encircle her waist as her fingers cling to the front of his shirt, holding him tightly. He finally comes to his senses, knowing that this is really not what she wants. He pulls his lips off of hers and watches her. She closes her eyes and he leans his forehead against hers. "Carol, I don't think..." His voice trails off and she opens her eyes, staring straight into his before pulling away from him.  
"I uh.." Carol starts, putting her hand on her forehead and pacing around the kitchen.  
"Carol, I know that's not what you really want." Doug says. She stops and looks at him.  
"What?" She asks. He sighs deeply.  
"Even though...I have been gone all this time...I can still read you pretty well. Like the other night at McDonald's, you wanted me to leave but you would never say it. I know...that you really don't want me back in your life and I don't think this," He says, motioning between them as he refers to the kiss, "is going to help that any." Doug says. Carol nods slightly and looks down. Doug watches her, waiting.  
"I..." Carol starts, but stops, unsure of her words. She looks up at Doug with some tears in her eyes. "I don't know what I want." Carol says softly. He nods and smiles softly.  
"It's okay." Doug says.   
"I want Madison to have a dad. I want her to be happy. And what she wants is for you to be in both of our lives. But I don't know if I can handle that again. I was with you once and you hurt me. I risked my heart once again and loved you with everything I had. I loved you more then I knew how. Then you left me. I don't know if I could risk my heart a third time. I don't know if I want to." Carol says. Doug lowers his head, shamed. When he speaks, his voice is low.  
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. The first time, I was stupid. The second time was simply amazing, until I left you. Had I a chance to go back and do it again, I would change it..but..I can't. Anything I do or say will not and can not ever make up for the hurt I've caused you. I don't expect you to forgive me. I love you Carol and I always will. I'll try as hard as I can, not to interfere with your life, other then to see Madison." Doug says. He then turns and walks out of the kitchen and puts his coat on. He opens the door, stepping outside and closing it behind him. Carol keeps her eyes glued to the spot he was standing in.  
"Oh, Doug." Carol whispers. She backs up against the counter and slides down in the corner where the cabinets meet. She draws her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. She lays her forehead against her knees and she sighs deeply, troubled.  
  
===========  
  
The next day Carol walks into the ER, carrying Madison.  
"I wanna see Daddy." Madison says. Mark glances up at the sound of Madison's voice. Carol doesn't notice him standing there.  
"Okay, well, let's go see if Daddy's in the lounge and if he's not then I'll tell him you wanna see him and having him come see you later in daycare. Okay?" Carol asks. Madison nods. Carol looks up and sees Mark.  
"Is Doug here yet?" Carol asks.  
"In the lounge." Mark says, nodding. Carol nods and Madison starts to wiggle in Carol's arms, impatient. Carol pushes her way into the lounge, hauling Madison and her purse along.  
"Daddy!" Madison calls out. Carol bends over, putting her down. The little girls runs to Doug and he chuckles, picking her up and sitting her on his lap.  
"I'll be right back." Carol says. Doug nods as he starts talking to Madison. Carol exits the lounge and walks towards the desk, taking off her coat and throwing it and her purse under the desk. Mark smiles at her.  
"So she's calling him Daddy already?" Mark asks. Carol sighs and leans against the counter.  
"Yeah." She says. Mark's brow furrows as he realizes something is wrong.  
"What's the matter?" Mark asks. Carol smiles slightly.  
"She's already calling him Daddy." Carol says simply. Mark nods.  
"Yeah?" He says. Carol sighs and moves closer to Mark.  
"Last night he was at my house and I kissed him." Carol says. Mark nods, giving her a sympathetic smile. She sighs. "We kissed and then he pulled away and told me that that wasn't what I really wanted. And he said that he can still read me pretty well and he knows that I don't want him to interfere with my life. I told him that I didn't think I could risk my heart for him again and that I wasn't sure if I wanted to. He said that he knows he has made a lot of mistakes and that if he could, he would go back and change things but he can't and he doesn't expect me to forgive him. He said he would try hard not to interfere with my life, other then for Madison." Carol says. Mark nods.  
"That's what you want, right?" He asks. She sighs and rubs her hands through her hair.  
"I don't know, Mark. I am so confused. I love him but I don't want to risk my heart again." Carol says. Mark nods.  
"I shouldn't be telling you what to do, because I only know half of what's going on. But Doug never meant to hurt you intentionally, Carol. He was just as hurt as you were when you wouldn't go with him but he's forgiven you for that. He's even forgiven you for not telling him about Madison, right?" Doug asks. Carol lowers her eyes and nods slowly, realizing. "You both are two of my closest friends, even if Doug has been gone for a couple of years. He doesn't want to interfere with your life, because he thinks that's what you really want. He's giving you your space and not asking for anything in return. I'm not saying you should just jump right back into your old relationship. But give him a chance. You're not sure what you want, right? So then just ask him out on a date. Tell him that you don't want to jump back into your old relationship but that you're not sure what you want and you need to take things slow and see what will happen. He isn't going to expect you to just jump into his arms again." Mark says. Carol sighs loudly and nods.   
"I know." She says. Mark smiles at her and watches her as she thinks. They hear whistling and a little girl giggling. The two of them turn around to see Doug walking out of the lounge with Madison on his back, getting a piggy-back ride.  
"I'll take her up to daycare, if you don't mind." Doug says. Carol smiles and walks over to them. She smiles at Madison.  
"Have a good day in daycare. I'll be up later to get you." Carol says.   
"Okay Mommy." Madison replies.   
"Alright. You can take her Doug." Carol says. He smiles at her and then turns, making sure Madison is secure.  
"Go faster, Daddy!" Madison calls out in front of everyone. Carol winces slightly as Doug goes faster, making her laugh. Everyone turns and looks at Carol. She smiles weakly and heads into the lounge to get a cup of coffee.   
  
===========  
  
Doug had been looking for a new job in Chicago for about 3 days now. No one needed him or would hire him and he was beginning to panic. He couldn't be without a job but he couldn't leave his daughter either.   
Doug, Carol, and Mark were in the lounge. Doug was working and Carol and Mark were sharing stories about patients from the night shift. A short brunette woman poked her head in the door of the lounge.  
"Dr. Ross?" She asks. He looks up, not recognizing her.  
"Yes?" He asks. She walks into the room, moving towards his table.  
"I'm Dr. Romano's secretary, Miss Brown." She says. He smiles slightly, confused.  
"Hello." He says. She nods.  
"Dr. Romano would like to see you in his office later today, if you can." Miss Brown says. Doug looks at Mark and Carol.  
"Uh, sure." Doug says.  
"Can you be up there at 4:30?" She asks him. He nods and smiles.  
"I don't see why not. Yeah, I'll be up." He says. She nods.  
"I'll notify Dr. Romano." She says then exits the lounge.  
"What was that about?" Mark asks.  
"I have no idea. Probably wants to talk to me about the DHC." Doug says, shrugging and going back to work. Carol and Mark look at each other, puzzled.  
  
===========  
  
Doug knocked on the door to Dr. Romano's office.  
"Come in." He heard. Doug opened the door and peeked in, before walking in.  
"Dr. Romano." He acknowledged. Robert nods.  
"Hello Dr. Ross." He says. Doug nods. "Have a seat." He says, motioning towards the chair in front of the desk. Doug sits. "How is the DHC job coming along?" Robert asks.  
"Good. I'll be done in about a week or so." Doug says. Robert nods.  
"Great..but I'm not here to talk about that job." Robert says. Doug sits up in his chair a little, curious. "I want to offer you a job." Robert says.  
"Me?" Doug asks.  
"Yes you. I know that I didn't always agree with you when you used to work here, but I figure that if you really want to stay here then you'll control yourself. Alright, see here's the deal. Cleo Finch is the pediatrician in the ER but she didn't take your place. She is just a pediatrician but you were an attending, when you left. So..I'm offering you the position." Robert says. Doug is silent, dumbfounded.  
"Would I have to be working under Kerry and Mark?" Doug asks.  
"Ah, no. You'll be working under me and you'll be their equals. They have no power over you and if you have a problem, you can come to me." Robert says.  
"I uh, I'll have to think about it." Doug says.  
"Sure you will. The pediatric care has gone way down since you left and I think you would be a great asset to this hospital..if you follow the rules. We've been without a Pediatric Attending for a few years now, so what's a few more days? Just get back to me on that as soon as possible." Robert says.  
"Sure. Thanks Dr. Romano." Doug says, standing and shaking Robert's hand.  
"No problem." He says. Doug exits the room and goes back down to the ER and into the lounge. There he finds Mark waiting for him.  
"So?" Mark asks. Doug looks up.  
"He offered me a job." Doug says. Mark's mouth drops open a little.  
"What job?" He asks.  
"My old job, Pediatric Attending." Doug says.  
"Did you take it?" Mark asks.  
"Not yet. I told him I would think about it." Doug says.  
"What's there to think about? Isn't that what you want?" Mark asks.  
"I don't know what I want. I want to be able to see Madison as much as possible. I want to work in the ER again. But I don't know if I can deal with working with Kerry...or you again. We may be friends outside the ER, Mark, but inside the ER you don't trust me and neither does Kerry. But, I also won't be working under either of you, so any problems I have with you I will just tell Dr. Romano and he will handle it, so that won't be much of a problem. Even though we will be equals you two won't treat me that way and I don't know if I can deal with that again. But..I can't seem to be finding work anywhere else, so if I want to stay in Chicago, I might just have to take this job." Doug says.  
"I don't want to be the reason you're not going to take this job, Doug." Mark says. Doug smiles.  
"I know you don't." Doug says, sitting down and putting his head into his hands. He sighs.  
  
===========  
  
"Hello?" Doug asks, picking up the phone in his new apartment.  
"Hey Doug." Carol says. Doug's brow furrows, not expecting her, but he is delighted to hear from her.  
"Hey Carol." Doug replies.  
"Madison just wanted to say goodnight to you." Carol says, handing the phone to Madison.  
"Hi Daddy." Madison says.  
"Hey sweetie." He replies.  
"What are you doing?" She asks. She proceeds to ask questions to him, stalling herself from going to bed. Carol eventually takes the phone from her. He hears Carol tell Madison to go get in bed and that she'll be up in a second. Carol puts the phone to her ear.  
"Doug?" She asks.  
"Yes?" He replies, smiling slightly.  
"Not that it's any of my business, but what did Dr. Romano want?" Carol asks.  
"He offered me a job as Pediatric Attending." Doug says. Carol is silent for a few seconds, letting this information sink in.  
"Did you take it?" She asks quietly.   
"I told him I had to think about it." Doug says.   
"Why?" Carol asks.  
"Even though I won't be working under Kerry or Mark, I don't know if I want to work with them again. But I can't seem to find a job anywhere else, so if I want to stay in Chicago then I'll have to take it. And...I don't know if I want to take the job because I don't want to interfere with your life." Doug says.   
"Oh Doug." Carol murmurs softly and then is silent for a few seconds, her heart hurting. Doug doesn't say anything, not sure what to say.  
"Carol you better go put Madison in bed." Doug says. She nods softly.  
"Yeah. Okay. I'll see you Doug." Carol says.  
"Bye." He replies and they hang up. Carol stands, fighting her tears and makes her way up the stairs and into her daughter's room. Madison is under the covers and almost asleep.  
"Mommy?" She asks quietly as Carol sits on the edge of her bed.  
"What?" Carol asks.  
"What's wrong?" Madison asks. Carol smiles.  
"Nothing baby. Nothing's wrong." Carol says. Madison sighs softly.  
"Mommy, do you love Daddy?" Madison asks. Carol is surprised by her daughter's question and is silent for a few seconds. "Mommy?" Madison asks.  
"I don't know baby. I love him for giving me you." Carol says. Madison nods, her eyes drooping. "I love you Maddie. G'night." Carol says, kissing her daughter's forehead.  
"Night Mommy." Madison says. Carol smiles and stands, turning off the light and walking out of the room.  
  
===========  
  
It's two days later and Dr. Romano wanted to see Doug in his office again. Doug, Mark and Carol are all in the lounge, drinking coffee.  
"So, what are you going to tell him?" Mark asks. Doug rubs his face with his hand and smiles weakly.  
"I've been looking for a job in pediatrics in Chicago for five days. I cannot find work anywhere....except here. I have to take it." Doug says. Mark nods and Carol lowers her head, fingering her coffee cup.  
"Doug, I want you to know that I am going to try harder than before to show you respect as a doctor and try and see your side of things more. I don't want to make this job any harder for you then it already will be." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"Thanks Mark." Doug says softly. Mark nods and exits the lounge, deciding to give them some private time. "Carol, I'm sorry." Doug starts but Carol cuts him off.  
"No Doug. It's okay. Really. It'll be nice working with you again." She says, smiling shyly at him. He smiles weakly and nods.  
"I'm doing this for Madison." Doug says.  
"I know." Carol responds quickly. "I know." She says again, weaker. He nods and looks down at the table, looking at the work he has to do. She nods and straightens her posture.  
"Well..I better get to work. I'll see you later Doug." Carol says.  
  
=========== 


	2. Working

-----  
  
Doug had started his new job that day as the Pediatric Attending. He was standing at the admit desk with Mark, Carol, Conni, Elizabeth, Randi, and Cleo.  
"So, how's your first day so far?" Mark asks him. He nods slightly.  
"Good as can be expected." Doug says. Mark nods.  
"Kerry been alright?" Mark asks. Doug chuckles lightly.  
"Alright as can be expected." Doug says. Everyone smiles at that comment, except Cleo, who didn't really know about the relationship between Doug and Kerry.  
"Well Doug, if it means anything, I'm glad you're back." Conni says. Doug smiles widely at her.  
"Well thank you very much Conni. I'm glad someone appreciates me." He says, chuckling lightly. Carol frowns lightly at his comment.  
  
-----  
  
All day Doug's comment floated around Carol's brain. 'I'm glad someone appreciates me.' She was in the lounge, nursing a coffee on her break. It had dawned on her that Doug didn't know she appreciates him. She knew that was her fault, her way of showing her feelings but she didn't know how to let him know without actually telling him. Carol sighed and stood up, walking to the window and staring out of it for awhile.   
Doug walks in to get his coffee and sees Carol staring out the window. He decides not to bother her, since she apparently didn't hear him come in. He gets himself a cup of coffee and she turns from the window and when she sees him she jumps.  
"Jesus Doug! You scared me!" She says. He smiles slightly.  
"I still can?" He asks. She makes a face at him.  
"Ha ha." She says. He chuckles lightly and tastes the coffee, making a face of his own.  
"Didn't this coffee get any better?" He asks. Carol laughs.  
"Yeah right, Doug." She says. He smiles and moves, sitting on the couch. He puts his coffee on the table and leans back into the couch, sighing deeply. "Rough day?" She asks sympathetically. He smiles slightly, his eyes closed.  
"You could say that." He says. She smiles and sits beside him on the couch. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Carol speaks up.  
"Doug?" She asks quietly.   
"Hmm?" He asks, not opening his eyes.  
"I uh, I was wondering what you're doing tonight?" Carol asks.   
"I have a date with my TV." Doug says smiling slightly. Carol smiles.  
"Would you like to switch your date from the TV to me?" Carol asks softly. He opens his eyes and looks at her.  
"Carol.." He says.  
"Doug, I just..we need to talk about things." Carol says. He sighs and looks at her.  
"This is what you want?" He asks. She nods.  
"Yes." She replies. He nods.  
"Alright then. What are we doing?" He asks.  
"Dinner at 8?" Carol asks. He nods.  
"Sounds good. Do you want me to pick you up?" He asks.  
"No, how about we just meet somewhere, that way I can take Madison to my mother's house." Carol suggests.  
"Alright. Where do you want to meet?" He asks.  
"How about at Viternio's?" Carol asks.  
"Okay. Sounds good. I'll meet you there at 8 then." Doug says. She nods.  
"Okay, thank you." She says. He smiles.   
"It's my pleasure." He says. She stands.  
"I'll see you later then." She says and walks out of the lounge. He nods after her, picking up his coffee then gulping it down. He shakes his head at the bitter taste and then stretches out on the couch.  
  
-----  
  
Carol walks into Viternio's later that night. She is dressed in black jeans, a red sweater, and a black leather jacket. She looks around and spots Doug at the bar, a drink in his hand, apparently waiting for her. He is wearing khakis and a green sweater with his brown coat draped over the seat beside him. He is watching her. She smiles at him and walks over to him.  
"Sorry I'm late. I uh, I had some problems with my mother." Carol says. He chuckles lightly.  
"Sounds like the Helen I know and love." He says. She smiles. "Our table's ready." Doug says.  
"Great." Carol says and he leads her to the table, carrying his drink. They sit in the booth, opposite of each other and are immediately greeted by a waiter. He gets Carol's drink order and leaves the table for them to look at the menu. Carol flips the menu open and looks at the choices.  
"What problems did you have with your mom?" Doug asks, curious if they are about him. Carol smiles and sighs lightly.  
"Well..when I took Madison there, she was so excited and told Ma that I was going on a date with Daddy." Carol says.  
"Uh-oh." Doug says. Carol laughs lightly and nods.  
"To say the least, she was not thrilled." Carol says, shaking her head slightly.  
"Carol, I'm really sorry." Doug says. She looks up at him.  
"Why?" She asks.  
"For coming back and messing up your whole life. For making you have to deal with your mom." Doug says. She smiles softly at him.  
"I can deal with my Mom. I've been dealing with her for my whole life. And as for coming back and messing up my whole life, that's not true and Madison adores you to pieces. Besides, I can't say that I don't like having you back. Seeing you everyday at work." Carol says shyly. He smiles, looking down at the menu. He knows he loves her, but he doesn't know if he can take this teasing from her. She kissed him but then she told him she wasn't sure if she wanted him back in her life. Then she asks him out and is telling him that she likes to work with him again, likes having him back. But she still said she's not sure what she wants.  
"Carol?" He asks, his voice hesitant. She looks up.  
"Hmm?" She responds softly. Just then the waiter comes back. He places Carol's drink on the table in front of her.  
"Have you decided what you would like to eat?" He asks. Carol smiles up at him and looks at Doug. He nods. She turns back to the waiter.  
"I'd like the lasagna." She says. He nods, copying this down onto his pad. He turns to Doug.  
"I'll have the 6 oz. steak, medium-well, with a baked potato. Butter, no sour cream." Doug says. The waiter nods.  
"Is that it?" He asks. They nod.  
"Alright, I'll be back." He says, taking their menus and walks off. Doug fiddles with his straw wrapper.  
"Doug?" Carol asks.  
"Yeah?" He replies.  
"What did you want to ask me?" She asks. He sighs and rubs his hand over his cheek slightly before looking at her.  
"What are you doing?" He asks. Her eyes take on a confused look.  
"Doing what?" She asks.  
"This..you..you kissed me and then you said you weren't sure what you want...Then you..ask me out on a date..and, and tell me that you like having me back. Do you know what you want..are you leading me on or what..because I need to know what you're doing before I get hurt." Doug says. Carol looks at him, slightly surprised by his words. She pauses for a long minute before speaking softly.  
"I..I'm not sure what I want. Mark says I should just give you a chance..go out with you," Carol tries to continue but Doug cuts her off.  
"You're just doing this because Mark says you should?" He asks, slightly disgusted, sitting back in his seat.  
"No..no. I..Mark knows me..better then I know myself." Carol says, smiling slightly. "He knows that I am confused and so he told me what I already knew. I'm trying to learn to be able to trust you again..but..I..you've broken my trust before...twice. I...it took me so long to get over you the first time but deep inside, I never really did. And now..I didn't get over you, but I accepted the fact that you wouldn't come back for me and I moved on. Then you show up 4 years later and confuse me. You know that I'm scared and you've tried not to interfere but now you work with me, again. My thoughts are all screwed up in my head and I'm just confused. I don't want to lead you on, but I need to figure things out. I don't want you to avoid me because you think it's what I want. That's not what I want. I don't want to jump right back into our relationship but I want to..see if..I can trust you..have a relationship with you." Carol says, sighing. She looks up at him hesitantly. He stares into her eyes before the gaze becomes too intense for them and they look away. He clears his throat.  
"I'm trying to give you space. I want you to be able to trust me. I..I love you Carol." She looks up quickly. "I don't expect you to tell me that you love me, because I know you don't...but..if you're going to kiss me...and...and ask me out and give me false hope, and then decide you just don't want me back...I don't know if I could handle that...I don't want to get my heart broken. I can never make up what I did to you and I'm sorry for that and always will be. But sorry doesn't even amount to what I owe you, but I don't know how else to make you trust me." Doug says. Carol smiles softly and they just sit there for a few minutes. They make small, unimportant talk the rest of their dinner and leave each other that night, only partly satisfied.  
  
-----  
  
Carol walked into the lounge the next morning. Doug didn't have to been in for a few more hours. Mark was sitting in the lounge, drinking coffee.  
"So, how did your date go?" Mark asks, raising his eyebrows. She sighs and flops down beside him on the couch.  
"It was alright." Carol says.  
"Just alright?" Mark asks.  
"He's so forgiving. How can he forgive me so easily? He's so hard on himself, doesn't give himself any credit." Carol says. Mark smiles.  
"Carol, he thinks that he screwed up everything good in his life. I hate to break this to you, but all he wants is for you to be happy, even if that means sacrificing his happiness for it." Mark says. Carol looks up at him.  
"That doesn't help." Carol says. Mark smiles softly.  
"It's not supposed to Carol." Mark says, standing and walking out of the lounge. Carol sighs and rubs her hands across her eyes.  
"Life's a bitch." Carol says.   
  
-----  
  
Doug was on the roof, the wind tossing his hair about. Mark opens the door to the roof, causing Doug to turn and look at him.  
"I figured I'd find you up here." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"I missed this spot." Doug says. Mark chuckles.  
"It is great for thinking." Mark says. Doug turns to him.  
"Now, for your next question, last night's date was fine." Doug says. Mark chuckles.  
"You know me well." He says. Doug smirks, turning to look back over the city.  
"Yeah. It could have been better, but at least we got some things in the open." Doug says.  
"Like?" Mark asks.  
"Well...she let me know that she doesn't have any clue what she wants. I told her I would give her the space she needs. I know that I've hurt her many times, but I really could do without her breaking my heart. If she doesn't know what she wants, how do I know that she's not going to lead me on and then just drop me?" Doug asks. Mark sighs.  
"She knows what she wants, she's just afraid to give into it." Mark says. Doug turns to him.  
"And you know this how?" He asks.  
"Look Doug, ever since you've left, I've been the one she's came to. I've been her best friend. I've learned to read her pretty well. She talks to me. She loves you and she wants to be with you, but she doesn't want to get hurt, just like you don't want to get hurt. She's been hurt so many times in her life, Doug. Your little girl is what has held her together these past four years. She thought she would never have you and she settled on the fact that she had your daughter with her everyday. Then after she has moved on, accepted the fact that you're gone, you come back to turn all that upside down again. She's scared because she learned to live without you and she doesn't want to be dependent on you again. She was dependent on you before and then you were gone. The only thing that kept her from going over the edge was Madison." Mark says, as if this is all should be obvious to Doug.   
"And I wouldn't leave her ever again. I can't even leave her now and we're not even together. God, Mark, I miss her so much. All I ever think about is her and Madison. I was so stupid before. I was hurt and proud and that caused me to lose the two best things that ever happened to me. If I just would have stayed, talked to Carol some more and not just left as suddenly as I did, maybe things would be different. But all because of one little mistake, my whole life was turned upside down and it's all my fault. I don't expect Carol to forgive me but I want to be with her Mark. Life is short and I want us to be a family. I can't think of anything I could do that would make her trust me." Doug says. Mark sighs slightly.  
"I don't know if there is anything you could do. You have to let Carol do this all on her own time." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"I know..but the time is ticking away as we speak. I'm going to give Carol time and space, even if it's not what I want." Doug says. Mark smiles slightly.  
"Things will turn out okay." Mark says.  
"I hope to hell you're right." Doug says. Just then Mark's beeper goes off. He holds it up to his face and reads the number.  
"That's the ER. You should probably head back too Doug." Mark says. Doug nods.  
"Let's go." Doug says and they head back downstairs.  
  
-----  
  
"Headin' home?" Doug asks as Carol gets her stuff out from under the desk.  
"Yep." She says. He nods, putting his chart in the finished pile.  
"Carol! We need you!" Mark yells, a trauma coming in.  
"Dammit! I'm already late!" Carol says.  
"I'll go get Madison and bring her down and watch her until you're ready to leave." Doug says.  
"That'd be great. Thanks Doug." Carol says, throwing her stuff under the desk and running off.   
  
-----  
  
Doug is in the lounge, Madison in his lap as they watch TV. Carol walks in, her coat and purse in tow.  
"Hey baby. Ready to go home?" Carol asks.  
"Yeah!" Madison and Doug both answer at the same time. Carol snickers and Doug chuckles. Doug begins to help Madison into her coat.  
"You'll be good for Mommy, right?" Doug asks. Madison nods.  
"Yes Daddy." She says. He grins and kisses her forehead.  
"Good. I'll call you later, alright?" He asks. She nods. Doug looks up at Carol.  
"When do you get off?" Carol asks.  
"In an hour." Doug says.  
"Why don't you come over for dinner? It's still pretty early." Carol says. Madison's face lights up.  
"Yeah, Daddy, please!" She says. He chuckles.  
"Alright. Do you want me to bring anything?" He asks. Carol shakes her head.  
"Nah, I'll fix us something at home." She says.  
"Alright then, I'll be there soon after I get off." Doug says. Carol nods.  
"Come on Maddie." She says, reaching her hand out. The little girl takes it.  
"Bye bye Daddy." Madison says.  
"Bye sweetheart." Doug says as the two exit the lounge. He chuckles lightly to himself.  
  
-----  
  
After dinner Carol and Doug are sitting on the front porch as Madison plays in the yard. Their knees are touching as they talk quietly.  
"When did things start to go wrong?" Carol asks Doug quietly. He looks at her and reaches up, scratching the back of his head. He lets his hand drop to his lap and stares at his hands.  
"I'd say about when we met Joi Abbott. Things started to spiral out of control after that. I lied to Mark and gave Joi the code and all the stuff with Mr. Abbott happened, almost ruining Mark, Kerry, and your careers. Then the whole bus accident and my wreck. Then I left, barely giving you time to realize what happened. And all of this happened because of me, my selfishness, my narcissism," Doug quotes Carol from a few years back. She bows her head, slightly embarrassed. "It's amazing how much one little family can damage everything you know. I don't blame the Abbotts at all, I take full responsibility. God, Carol, it got so lonely up there." Doug says. Carol looks at him and nods slightly. Doug hears a car coming down the road and he looks up just in time to see Madison running into the middle of the road, chasing her ball. He jumps up. "Madison!" He screams, his heart jumping to his throat. The car swerves but not in time. It hits Madison, her little body being thrown, sprawled out across the pavement. Carol jumps up as Doug and her run to their daughter. The car stops and immediately the driver's side open.  
"Oh God! Is she okay?" He asks. Doug bends down over his daughter, feeling for a pulse. He feels a weak one.  
"Call 911! NOW!" Doug screams. Carol bends down beside Doug. The driver grabs his cell phone.  
"Doug? Is she breathing?" Carol asks.  
"Barely." Doug says.  
"Oh God. Doug..." Carol says.  
"Madison, baby, can you hear me?" Doug asks, stroking the little girl's forehead.  
Nothing.  
  
----- 


	3. You Won't Be Lonely

-----  
  
Mark picks up the hand-held MICU.  
"This is County General, go ahead." Mark says into the mouthpiece.  
"County, this is Unit 37. We've got a three year old, got hit by a car, unconscious. Barely breathing and a weak, thready pulse." Mark listens intently.  
"Mark!" Someone in the background shouts. Mark hears it and his heart stops as he recognizes the voice.  
"Doug?" He asks.  
"Mark, it's Madison!" Doug says.  
"Oh God. Alright, what's your ETA?" Mark asks.  
"Two minutes." The paramedic says.  
"Alright, we'll be ready." Mark says. He turns around, coming face-to-face with everyone in the ER. They all heard the conversation. Kerry walks up in the midst of it all, not having heard the call.  
"What the hell? Let's get to work people!" She says.  
"Okay! Chuny, I need you to make sure we have a trauma room and get 8 units of O neg! Lily call surgery and get someone down here now! Everyone gown up! Haleh, Lydia, and Carter come with me." Mark says. He gloves up and puts his gown on, followed by Haleh, Lydia, and Carter.  
"Mark, what's going on?" Kerry asks.  
"Madison got hit by a car." Mark says and he runs to the ambulance bay followed by Carter, Haleh, and Lydia. Kerry stands there, shocked, before she runs around, making sure they have everything. Outside the two men and women stand there, waiting impatiently.  
"I wonder what happened." Lydia says.  
"That girl better be alright. Carol will be crushed." Haleh says.  
"So will Doug." Mark says. Haleh nods just as an ambulance pulls up. The paramedic hops out of the back, followed by Carol and Doug. Carol is crying and Doug is holding her hand. Mark starts to shout out orders as they wheel the gurney into the hospital. Doug and Carol are walking quickly behind it. They push the the doors of trauma one. Doug pulls Carol back, moving out of the way so they can work.  
"Doug." Carol says, shakily. She feels like she is going to faint. He pulls her to him, wrapping his arms around her as they watch Mark work on their daughter.  
"What have we got?" Elizabeth asks, pushing into the door. Mark looks at her.  
"Madison got hit by a car." Mark says. Elizabeth gasps, looking back and Doug and Carol who are clinging to each other. "She's got a weak, thready pulse. She might have internal bleeding. Broken right tib-fib." Mark says. Elizabeth immediately jumps into action. Carol starts to sob.  
"I'm so sorry baby." She whispers. Doug squeezes her tightly.  
"Shh...Carol...shh.." Doug says. She buries her face into his neck, keeping one eye on her daughter.  
"Her belly's distended." Elizabeth calls out.  
"Dammit." Doug mutters under his breath.  
"Alright, she's stable, let's get her up to the OR." Elizabeth says. They start to push the gurney out of the room. "Doug, Carol, I'll take care of her." Elizabeth says. Doug nods as Carol pushes her way through them. She takes her daughter's hand and runs alongside the gurney.  
"Baby, I'm here. You're going to be alright. Aunt Lizabeth is going to fix you right up. Hang in there sweetheart." She says. The elevator opens and Carol lets go, immediately reaching for Doug. He takes her hand into his and watches as the elevator door closes. Mark looks at them.  
"What happened?" Mark asks.  
"We've gotta get upstairs. We'll talk later." Doug says as the next elevator opens. Mark nods as they enter the elevator. Once inside Carol turns to Doug.  
"Why did this happen?" She asks.   
"Shh..Carol. She's going to be fine." Doug says.  
"She has internal bleeding, Doug. She's only three years old. She's too little." Carol says. Doug takes her face into his hands.  
"She's going to be fine, Carol. I don't want you..or anyone else to try and tell me otherwise. We have to have hope. She's our daughter, Carol. We're the two most stubborn people in the world." Doug says, smiling slightly. Carol manages to smile back through her tears. "There's that beautiful smile I love to see. Remember Carol, you've gotta have faith." Doug says. She nods as the elevator door opens on the surgical floor. They step out. Peter runs by them, but stops when he sees them.  
"Carol, Doug. I'm about to go assist Elizabeth. We'll send you news as soon as we can, okay?" Peter asks. Doug nods.  
"Thanks Peter." He says as Peter nods, running off. Doug leads Carol to the waiting room. There's a couch, so he sits down, pulling her into his lap. She buries her face into his neck, crying softly as she clings to him. He rubs her back soothingly, as he waits anxiously.  
  
-----  
  
About an hour later, Mark walks into the waiting room. Doug is sitting on the couch and Carol is laying down, her head in his lap as she sleeps lightly. Mark sits in a chair beside the couch.  
"She asleep?" Mark whispers. Doug nods.  
"She cried herself to sleep." Doug replies, whispering.  
"What happened?" Mark asks.  
"It's all my fault." Doug says. Mark gives him a puzzled look.  
"Carol and I were sitting on the front porch. Madison was playing in the front yard. We were talking and not paying much attention to Madison. I heard a car coming and looked up. Madison's ball rolled into the road and she was going after it. The driver tried to swerve but he still hit her. He called 911 on his cell phone while Carol and I made sure she was breathing and had a pulse. Then we just waited." Doug says, tears coming to his eyes.  
"So why is it your fault?" Mark asks.  
"I should have been watching her but instead I was blabbing on about how much I had screwed up." Doug says. Mark shakes his head.  
"Even if you had been watching her, you may not have been able to stop her from going into the street and getting hit." Mark says.  
"But I may have been able to stop it. Or else, I would have at least known it wasn't my fault because I was watching her, but I wasn't." Doug says.  
"If that's the case, it's just as much Carol's fault as it is yours." Mark says. Doug looks up quickly.  
"Don't even blame her. She didn't do anything." Doug says fiercely.  
"Seems to me she did as much as you did. And if you think it's not her fault, then it's not yours either." Mark says. Doug shakes his head, not believing it. Right now, he is too scared to argue with Mark.  
"No, Mark." Doug says. Mark sighs, rubbing his hand across his face.  
  
-----  
  
An hour after Mark arrived, the doors to the OR opened and Elizabeth and Peter walked out. Doug stands, pulling Carol, who had woken earlier, up beside him. Mark stands.  
"Is she okay?" Doug asks. Elizabeth sighs.  
"We stopped the bleeding. But she crashed and we had to shock her. I'm afraid she slipped into a coma." Elizabeth says. Carol gasps, her knees buckling beneath her. Doug catches her, pulling her back into a standing position.  
"Oh..damn. Can we go see her?" Doug asks, supporting Carol with his arms.  
"She's up in the NICU. I'll head up there and then I'll come get you and take you up." Elizabeth says. Doug nods, stroking Carol's hair. She buries her face into his neck and sobs as Elizabeth and Peter leave.  
"Oh God, Doug. Our baby." She says.  
"Shhh..shh. I know, Carol. Remember, we have to have faith." Doug says. She shakes her head, sobbing.  
"No..no." Carol says.  
"She's still alive. She'll make it." Doug says, kissing Carol's forehead. Her whole body is shaking in his arms. He looks at Mark who gives him a sympathetic look. Doug rocks Carol, reassuringly.  
  
-----  
  
Elizabeth walks down the hall in front of Carol and Doug, who are walking closely, holding hands. They are headed towards Madison's room for the first time since the surgery. Elizabeth stops and looks at them, before opening the door for them. Carol and Doug walk through it slowly, their eyes scanning the room until they rest on their daughter. Carol, seeing her daughter bandaged and lying so still, gasps.  
"Oh Doug." Carol says. Doug walks closer to his daughter's bed. His eyes fill with tears for the first time since the accident.  
"Carol, look at her." Doug says. Carol nods, the tears falling rapidly over her cheeks. Doug takes Madison's tiny hand into his and strokes her fingers. He places his daughter's hand back on the bed and reaches his hands up, covering his face, trying to wipe of the tears so Carol won't see him. She does notice and she squeezes his hand reassuringly. Carol reaches up and touches her daughter's dark curls. Carol lets go of Doug, moving closer to her daughter. She bends down, kissing her daughter's cheek.  
"You'll be okay baby. I have faith in you. I won't leave you." Carol says. She steps back from the bed, moving out of the way, so Doug can get closer. Doug bends down over his daughter, much like Carol just did. He kisses her forehead gently and brushes her cheek with the back of his index finger.  
"Madison..it's Daddy. I just want you to know that Mommy and I love you very much and we're here for you. Always." Doug says. He looks back up at Carol, tears in both of their eyes. She moves closer to him, moving into his embrace, needing to feel the comfort of his arms. He holds her, as they watch the rise and fall of their daughter's chest and listen to her heart monitor.  
  
-----  
  
Carol was sitting beside Madison's bed, watching her. Mark walks into the room.  
"Carol?" He asks. She looks up and smiles, sitting up.  
"Hey Mark." She says softly.  
"You should go home. Get some rest." Mark says. Carol shakes her head.  
"Mark, I'm fine really. Have you seen Doug lately?" She asks.  
"Yeah, he was with a patient last I saw him." Mark says.  
"When was that?" Carol asks.  
"About 20 minutes ago, why?" Mark asks.  
"I just wanted to know what he's doing. I've barely seen him all day." Carol says.  
"He told me he was going to come up after his shift was over. That's in an hour." Mark says. Carol nods.  
"Thanks Mark." She says. He nods.  
"Why don't you go get you something to eat. I'll sit up here with her." Mark says.  
"I don't know Mark." Carol says.  
"Don't argue with me. Go." Mark says, walking over to her. He pulls her into a standing position. She sighs.  
"Alright, I'll go down to the cafeteria and get me something to eat, but I'm coming right back up." Carol says. He nods.  
"Go." He says. She smiles and walks out of the room. She decides to go ask Doug to join her before she goes. She walks into the ER and spots him at the admit desk.  
"Doug." She says softly. He turns to her and smiles slightly.  
"Hey Carol." He says. She smiles back at him.  
"Mark's making me go get something to eat. Wanna hit the cafeteria with me?" Carol asks. He looks up at the board then back at her.  
"I better not. I've only got an hour left and there's a couple of patients left. I'll get something after my shift, then I'll come up to Madison's room." Doug says. Carol nods and kisses his cheek gently.  
"Alright then. I'll see you up there." She says. He nods at her and touches her cheek gently before she leaves.  
  
-----  
  
Doug walks into Madison's room. Carol is sitting in a chair beside Madison's bed, her head laying on the pillow beside Madison, sound asleep. Doug smiles. He walks over to Carol and places his hands on her back. He bends down and kisses her cheek gently.  
"Carol." He says softly. She stirs.  
"Doug?" She asks.  
"Yeah, it's me. You fell asleep." He says. She sits up slowly, rubbing her eyes.  
"Mmm..what time is it?" She asks.  
"It's a quarter after nine." Doug says. She stretches and looks up at him.  
"Did you just get off?" She asks. He nods.  
"Yeah, I got me a sandwich at the cafeteria and came here." He says. She nods and stands up, turning to him. He holds her upper arms in his hands, stroking her with his thumbs. "Why don't we go home." Doug says. Carol shakes her head.  
"Doug.." She starts to protest but he stops her.  
"Carol..Carol, she hasn't changed in a week. You need your rest. You haven't been home for longer then two hours since the accident. She'll be fine here. Mark will keep an eye out for us. If anything changes, he'll make sure we know as soon as possible. There's nothing you can do by sitting here all night." Doug says. Carol sighs and her eyes fill with tears, turning to look at her daughter.  
"I just...I don't want my baby to be all alone." Carol says. He smiles at her, touching her cheek, turning her back to face him.  
"She's not alone. I'll have Mark and Elizabeth come and check on her regularly. Madison wouldn't want you to stay with her all night if it meant you weren't getting your healthy rest." Doug says. Carol bites her lip and rests her forehead against Doug's cheek.  
"Okay. We can go home tonight." Carol says. He smiles and kisses the side of her face.  
"She'll be fine." Doug says. Carol nods, watching her daughter.  
  
-----  
  
"I'll sleep on the couch. If you need me, just come and get me." Doug says. Carol shakes her head.  
"Sleep in my bed with me, please. I don't want to be alone tonight." Carol says. He smiles.  
"Are you sure?" He asks. She nods.  
"Please." She says. He nods.  
"I will." He says.  
  
-----  
  
Carol was lying in bed, waiting for Doug to join her. He lifted the covers on his side of the bed and slipped in beside her. He smiled sweetly at her. She smiles weakly back at him.  
"It's so strange, being here and knowing she's not in her bed upstairs...or at least somewhere where she'd be with someone she knew." Carol says. Doug strokes Carol's face gently.  
"She's fine, Carol." Doug says. Carol nods, biting her lip softly, trying not to cry.  
"What did we do to deserve this?" She asks. He smiles slightly.  
"Maybe someone out there was trying to tell us we were acting childish and that our family is what's important." Doug says. Carol nods.  
"We should have paid more attention to her." Carol says. He nods his head.  
"If I hadn't been blabbing about how much of a screw-up I am, we might have been able to catch her. I'm sorry Carol." Doug says.  
"You're not a screw up." Carol says. Doug nods.  
"I've screwed up everything in my life that has ever made me happy. I screwed up my job. With you. And now with my daughter. I'm a screw-up." Doug says.  
"You didn't screw up with me. Or with your daughter. And your job, you just made a stupid mistake and it happened to cost you your job." Carol says. Doug shakes his head.  
"I'd hate to see who you'd call a screw-up." Doug says, smiling slightly, trying to lighten up the situation. Carol shakes her head at him. She rolls over, leaning out of the bed, slightly, and turning off the lamp. Darkness engulfs the room. Carol moves back onto her side, snuggling into Doug's arms. He smiles and leans down, kissing her gently.  
"G'night Carol." He says.  
"Night Doug." She says, burying herself into him. He rests his head in her dark curls, smelling her. He is so glad to be back in her arms, only wishing it was under different circumstances that they got there.  
  
-----  
  
Doug woke to the sound of the telephone ringing. He looked at the clock. 12:32. He and Carol had only went to bed at a quarter after 11. He reached over top of Carol's body to her side of the bed, and picked up the phone, trying not to wake her.  
"Hello?" He asks groggily into the phone. Carol shifts under him, moving out from under his arm and looking at him in the darkness, concern on her face.  
"Doug! It's Mark! You've gotta get here now!" Mark says. Oh God. Madison.  
"Mark..what's going on?" Doug asks. Carol starts to panic.  
"She's awake!" Mark says. Oh God. Relief washes over Doug.  
"She's awake? Oh..we're coming!" Doug exclaims, shoving the phone onto the receiver.  
"She's awake?" Carol asks. A huge smile spreads over his face.   
"Yes." He says.  
"Oh God!" Carol says. She squeezes Doug's arms and then jumps out of bed. They rush into their clothes and shoes, running out the door and jumping into the jeep.  
  
-----  
  
Carol runs into Madison's room, followed by Doug. She rushes to Madison's bed, seeing Madison looking back up at her.  
"Oh Baby!" Carol says, hugging Madison. Doug bends over his daughter as the two fuss over her. She doesn't talk, she's intubated, but you can see the happiness in her eyes that her parents are there. Mark and Elizabeth stand off the to side, watching and smiling. Carol stands up, wiping the tears from her face. She walks over to Mark and Elizabeth.  
"Thank you so much." She says. They smile.  
"No problem." Mark replies. Carol pulls him into a hug and hugs him tightly. Then she moves to Elizabeth and hugs her. Mark chuckles and Elizabeth smiles, relieved for her friends. Carol then walks back over to her daughter, smiling down at her happily.  
  
----- 


End file.
